Anyone who has seen me come to or leave school may notice that, on more days than not, I have a yoga mat on my back. My teachers often talk to the class about quieting the 'busy monkey mind' and since I'm usually at class after work it is easy for me to associate some of their comments to my job. I know the point of this blog is to give advice, tips, and instructions for the college process, but if you hear me out on this I hope you'll see the connection.
As a college counselor at a school on the Upper East Side, arguably one of the neighborhoods in this city (or even perhaps this country) where monkey minds about the college journey are the loudest, the words of my teacher this week really resonated with me on Tuesday. In yoga, the monkey mind is the distracting chatter in your head that sidetracks you away from your breathe. It is what pulls you away from the present, drags you off of your rooting seat, and makes it difficult to focus. It isn't flying crow or handstand, but quieting that monkey mind and honoring yourself that are two of the hardest things to master.
How is this related to college? There is a lot of distracting chatter in the college process too. There are always voices hinting about a student's application not being good enough, scores not being high enough, essays not being polished enough, bank accounts not being rich enough, worries upon worries that do a lot toward gaining an ulcer but not a lot toward gaining admission. Colleges split hairs over rankings assigned by misinformed magazine editors. Students spread rumors about the 'only' type of people that get into XYZ school. Fees get paid to various experts to help 'guarantee' admission to this school or that. Panic sets in that you aren't doing enough, aren't saying the right thing, and won't get in to your #1 school.
Just like in yoga, we have to work together - colleges, counselors, parents, guardians, and students - to quiet the busy monkey mind. Take out the remote control and press mute when your aunt's neighbor's boyfriend's son tells you about the breaking news about how to get in to "these types of schools." My yoga teacher this week reminded us that we already have everything that we are looking for. The impossible poses are made up of aligned body parts, muscles, bones, and breath- things each and every one of us have. You don't need that extra stuff. The experts and the tutors and the guidebooks and the magazines . . . . the answer is already within you. Your gut should have just as much input into this process as that other manufactured stuff. Know yourself. Know your child. Rankings and sweatshirts and bumper stickers don't last. An education, lifelong friends, and independence do. Those are the valuable things from a college experience. Turn down the volume on those scary voices. Sit and listen to hear what other quieter, more authentic, voices that chatter might have been drowning out. The list will improve. Chances of admission will improve. And overall health and happiness will probably improve too.
When the monkey mind gets chatty, as it is bound to do, take a moment to breathe and recenter. Surrender your head to your heart and you'll see that you already have everything you need.
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