In that same vein of 'must read' ruminations, I hope you've all already seen Frank Bruni's New York Times Op-Ed 'How to Survive the College Admissions Madness.' If you haven't, open a new browser tab and go read it immediately.
Parents/Guardians: I observe that sometimes your children conflate their academic performance and college outcomes with your love and approval. Even if you think you are already doing a good job of separating the two, have a direct and concrete conversation with your child to make sure they hear you say the words "I'm proud of you just as you are."
Students: You may get the news you want to hear in the next few days. You may not get the news you want to hear in the next few days. Either way, the only thing keeping you from your goals and aspirations is you. I went to an Ivy League* graduate school and had classmates who started at community college. The seal on your diploma doesn't dictate your destiny. Your individual work ethic, your personal value system, your motivation, your creativity, and your talents are what will take you where you want to go.
This is an exciting time. I celebrate with you when you get good news! I'm so sorry when you are denied admission or put on a waitlist when your heart was set on going to that school. But you'll get through it. Don't let a little bit of bad news cloud the rest of the great news that you have to share. I'll regularly speak with parents or students who are dwelling on not getting into one place, but don't acknowledge the six or seven acceptances they do have. Remember in the fall when we talked about how you have to like your likely? That was only a few months ago and you liked the school then.
Brace yourselves for the decisions coming out. Prepare for the worst while you hope for the best. But remember that I'm proud of you just as you are.
*But, didn't I just tell the 8th graders that Ivy League schools aren't all they are cracked up to be? I did! And it wasn't! ;)
Image by Ben Wiseman NYTimes
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